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 Alfie
 
 Ooooo deary me,
 My little brother's in his bedroom  weed,
 I tell him he should get up  it's nearly half past three
  can't be bothered cos he's high on THC.
 I ask him very nicely if he'd like a cup of 
 I can't even  him cos the room is so smoky,
 Don't understand  one can watch so much TV,
 My baby  Alfie how I wish that you could see.
 
 [Chorus]
 Oooooo I only say it cos I 
  please can you stop pulling my hair.
 Now, now there's no need to 
 Please don't despair my dear Mon 
 
 Ooooo Alfie get up it's a brand new 
 I just can  back and watch you waste your life away
 You  to get a job because the bills need to get paid.
 Get off your lazy 
 Alfie please use  brain
  there's some walls out there that you can go and spray,
 I'm feeling guilty for  you astray,
 Now how the hell do you ever expect that you'll  laid,
 When all you do is stay  play on your computer games?
 
 [Chorus]
 
 Oh little  please refrain from doing that,
 I'm trying  help you out so can you stop being a twat.
 It's time that you and I sat down and had a little 
 And look me  the eyes take off that stupid fitted* cap.
 
 [Chorus]
 
 Please don't despair
 Please don't despair