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 Alfie
 
 Ooooo deary me,
 My  brother's in his bedroom smoking weed,
 I tell him he should get up cos it's nearly  past three
 He can't  bothered cos he's high on THC.
  ask him very nicely if he'd like a cup of tea,
 I can't even see him  the room is so smoky,
 Don't understand how  can watch so much TV,
 My  brother Alfie how I wish that you could see.
 
 [Chorus]
 Oooooo I only say it cos I 
 So please can  stop pulling my hair.
 Now, now there's  need to swear,
  don't despair my dear Mon frere*
 
 Ooooo Alfie  up it's a brand new day,
 I just can sit back and watch you waste your life 
 You need to get a job because the bills need to get 
 Get off  lazy arse,
 Alfie please use your 
 Surely there's some walls out there  you can go and spray,
 I'm feeling guilty for leading you 
 Now  the hell do you ever expect that you'll get laid,
 When all you do is stay and play on  computer games?
 
 [Chorus]
 
 Oh little  please refrain from doing that,
 I'm trying to help you  so can you stop being a twat.
  time that you and I sat down and had a little chat,
 And  me in the eyes take off that stupid fitted* cap.
 
 [Chorus]
 
 Please don't despair
 Please don't despair