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 "The  Slim Shady"
 
 [Eminem]
 May I  your attention please?
 May I  your attention please?
 Will  real Slim Shady please stand up?
 I repeat, will the real Slim  please stand up?
 We're gonna have a problem 
 
 Y'all act like you never seen a white person 
 Jaws  on the floor like Pam, like Tommy just burst in the door
 and started whoopin her ass  than before
  first were divorce, throwin her over furniture (Ahh!)
 It's the  of the... "Ah, wait, no way, you're kidding,
 he  just say what I think he did, did he?"
  Dr. Dre said... nothing you idiots!
 Dr. Dre's dead, he's locked in  basement! (Ha-ha!)
 Feminist  love Eminem
 [*vocal turntable: chigga  chigga*]
 "Slim  I'm sick of him
 Look  him, walkin around grabbin his you-know-what
 Flippin the you-know-who," "Yeah, but he's  cute though!"
 Yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in  head loose
 But no  than what's goin on in your parents' bedrooms
 Sometimes, I wanna get on TV and  let loose, but can't
 but it's cool for Tom Green to hump  dead moose
  bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lips"
  if I'm lucky, you might just give it a little kiss
 And that's the  that we deliver to little kids
 And expect them  to know what a woman's clitoris is
 Of  they gonna know what intercourse is
 By the time they hit fourth 
 They got the  Channel don't they?
 "We ain't nothing but mammals.." Well, some of us 
 who cut other people open like  [SLURP]
 But if we can hump dead animals and 
 then there's no reason that a man and another man can't 
 [*EWWW!*] But if you feel  I feel, I got the antidote
 Women  your pantyhose, sing the chorus and it goes
 
 [Chorus: Eminem (repeat 
 
 'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm  real Shady
 All you other Slim  are just imitating
 So won't the real  Shady please stand up,
  stand up, please stand up?
 
 [Eminem]
 Will Smith  gotta cuss in his raps to sell his records;
 well I do, so fuck him and fuck you 
 You think  give a damn about a Grammy?
 Half  you critics can't even stomach me, let alone stand me
 "But Slim, what if you  wouldn't it be weird?"
 Why? So you guys could  lie to get me here?
 So  can, sit me here next to Britney Spears?
 Shit, Christina Aguilera better switch  chairs
 so I can sit next to Carson Daly  Fred Durst
 and hear  argue over who she gave head to first
 You  bitch, put me on blast on MTV
 "Yeah, he's cute, but I think he's married to  hee-hee!"
 I should download her audio  MP3
 and show the  world how you gave Eminem VD [AHHH!]
  sick of you little girl and boy groups, all you do is annoy me
  I have been sent here to destroy you [bzzzt]
 And there's a million  us just like me
 who cuss like me; who just  give a fuck like me
 who dress like me; walk,  and act like me
  just might be the next best thing but not quite me!
 
 [Chorus]
 
 [Eminem]
 I'm like  head trip to listen to, cause I'm only givin you
 things you joke about with your friends  your living room
 The  difference is I got the balls to say it
 in front of y'all and I don't gotta be  or sugarcoated at all
 I just get on  mic and spit it
 and whether you like to admit it [*ERR*] I just  it
 better than ninety percent of you  out can
 Then you wonder how can kids eat up these albums  valiums
 It's  cause at the rate I'm goin when I'm thirty
 I'll be the only person  the nursin home flirting
  nurses asses when I'm jackin off with Jergens
 And I'm jerkin but this  bag of Viagra isn't working
 And every single person is a  Shady lurkin
 He could be workin at Burger King, spittin on your  rings
 [*HACH*] Or in the parkin  circling
 Screaming "I don't give  fuck!"
 with his windows down and his  up
  will the real Shady please stand up?
  put one of those fingers on each hand up?
 And  proud to be outta your mind and outta control
 and one more  loud as you can, how does it go?
 
 [Chorus 4X]
 
 [Eminem]
 Ha ha
 Guess  a Slim Shady in all of us
 Fuck it, let's  stand up