"The Slim Shady" [Eminem] May I your attention please? May I your attention please? Will real Slim Shady please stand up? I repeat, will the real Slim please stand up? We're gonna have a problem Y'all act like you never seen a white person Jaws on the floor like Pam, like Tommy just burst in the door and started whoopin her ass than before first were divorce, throwin her over furniture (Ahh!) It's the of the... "Ah, wait, no way, you're kidding, he just say what I think he did, did he?" Dr. Dre said... nothing you idiots! Dr. Dre's dead, he's locked in basement! (Ha-ha!) Feminist love Eminem [*vocal turntable: chigga chigga*] "Slim I'm sick of him Look him, walkin around grabbin his you-know-what Flippin the you-know-who," "Yeah, but he's cute though!" Yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in head loose But no than what's goin on in your parents' bedrooms Sometimes, I wanna get on TV and let loose, but can't but it's cool for Tom Green to hump dead moose bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lips" if I'm lucky, you might just give it a little kiss And that's the that we deliver to little kids And expect them to know what a woman's clitoris is Of they gonna know what intercourse is By the time they hit fourth They got the Channel don't they? "We ain't nothing but mammals.." Well, some of us who cut other people open like [SLURP] But if we can hump dead animals and then there's no reason that a man and another man can't [*EWWW!*] But if you feel I feel, I got the antidote Women your pantyhose, sing the chorus and it goes [Chorus: Eminem (repeat 'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm real Shady All you other Slim are just imitating So won't the real Shady please stand up, stand up, please stand up? [Eminem] Will Smith gotta cuss in his raps to sell his records; well I do, so fuck him and fuck you You think give a damn about a Grammy? Half you critics can't even stomach me, let alone stand me "But Slim, what if you wouldn't it be weird?" Why? So you guys could lie to get me here? So can, sit me here next to Britney Spears? Shit, Christina Aguilera better switch chairs so I can sit next to Carson Daly Fred Durst and hear argue over who she gave head to first You bitch, put me on blast on MTV "Yeah, he's cute, but I think he's married to hee-hee!" I should download her audio MP3 and show the world how you gave Eminem VD [AHHH!] sick of you little girl and boy groups, all you do is annoy me I have been sent here to destroy you [bzzzt] And there's a million us just like me who cuss like me; who just give a fuck like me who dress like me; walk, and act like me just might be the next best thing but not quite me! [Chorus] [Eminem] I'm like head trip to listen to, cause I'm only givin you things you joke about with your friends your living room The difference is I got the balls to say it in front of y'all and I don't gotta be or sugarcoated at all I just get on mic and spit it and whether you like to admit it [*ERR*] I just it better than ninety percent of you out can Then you wonder how can kids eat up these albums valiums It's cause at the rate I'm goin when I'm thirty I'll be the only person the nursin home flirting nurses asses when I'm jackin off with Jergens And I'm jerkin but this bag of Viagra isn't working And every single person is a Shady lurkin He could be workin at Burger King, spittin on your rings [*HACH*] Or in the parkin circling Screaming "I don't give fuck!" with his windows down and his up will the real Shady please stand up? put one of those fingers on each hand up? And proud to be outta your mind and outta control and one more loud as you can, how does it go? [Chorus 4X] [Eminem] Ha ha Guess a Slim Shady in all of us Fuck it, let's stand up