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 They say to have her hair done Liz flies all the way  France
 And Jackie's seen in a  doin' a brand new dance
 And the White  social season should be glittering and gay
 But here in Topeka  rain is a fallin'
 The faucet is a drippin' and  kids are a bawlin'
 One  them a toddlin' and one is a crawlin' and one's on the way
 
  glad that Raquel Welch just signed a million dollar pact
 And Debbie's out  Vegas workin' up a brand new act
 While the TV's showin' Newlyweds a real fun game  play
 But here in Topeka  screen door's a bangin'
 The coffee's boilin' over and the wash needs  hangin'
 One wants a cookie and one wants a changin' and  on the way
 
 Now what was I doin' Jimmy  away from there darn there goes the phone
 Hello honey what's that you say you're  a few ole buddies home
 You're callin'  a barn get away from there
 No not you honey I was talkin' to the baby wait a  honey the door bell
 Honey could you stop at the market and hello hello well  be
 The girls in New York  they all march for women's lib
 And Better Homes  Gardens shows the modern way to live
 And  pill may change the world tomorrow but meanwhile today
 Here in Topeka the  are a buzzin'
 The dog is a barkin' and the  needs a scrubbin'
 One needs a spankin'  one needs a huggin' Lord one's on the way
 Oh gee I hope it ain't twins