You know parents are the same no time nor place They understand that us kids are gonna make some mistakes So to you, all the kids across the land There’s no need to argue, parents just don’t I remember one My mom took me shopping It was me, my brother, my mom, oh, my pop, and little sister All in the car headed downtown to the Gallery Mall mom started bugging with the clothes she chose I say nothing at first just turned up my nose She said, “What’s wrong? This cost $20″ I said, this shirt is plaid with a butterfly collar!” The half hour was the same old thing My mother me clothes from 1963 And then she her mind and did the ultimate I her for Adidas and she bought me Zips! I said, “Mom, what are doing, you’re ruining my rep” She said, “You’re only sixteen, you don’t a rep yet” I said, “Mom, let’s put these back, please” said “no, you go to school to learn not for a fashion show” I said, “This isn’t Sha Na, come on Mom, I’m not Bowzer please put back the bell-bottom Brady Bunch trousers But if you want to I can live with that but You gotta put the double-knit reversible slacks” She moved - everything stayed the same Inevitably the first day of school thought I could get over, I tried to play sick But mom said, “No, no way, uh-uh, forget it” There was nothing I could I tried to relax got dressed up in those ancient artifacts And when I walked into school, it was as I thought The kids were cracking up laughing at clothes Mom bought And those who weren’t still had a ball they were pointing and whispering As I walked down hall I got home and told Mom how my day went said, “If they were laughing you don’t need them, Cause they’re not friends” For the next six hours I to explain to my Mom That was gonna have to go through this about 200 more times So to you all kids all across the land There’s no to argue Parents just don’t here’s the situation My parents went on a week’s vacation and They left keys to the brand new Porsche Would they mind? Umm, well, of not I’ll take it for a little spin And maybe it off to a couple of friends I’ll just cruise around the neighborhood Well, I shouldn’t Yeah, course I should Pay attention, here’s the of the plot I pulled up to the corner at end of my block That’s when saw this beautiful girlie girl walking I up my car phone to perpetrate like I was talking should’ve seen this girl’s bodily dimensions I honked my horn to get her attention said, “Was that for me?” I said, “Yeah” She said, “Why?” I said, “Come on and take a with a helluva guy” said, “How do I know you’re not sick? You be some deranged lunatic” I said, “C’mon toots - my is the Prince = Beside, would a lunatic have a Porsche this?” She and we were on our way She was very good and so was I, I must say - word We hit pulled into the drive We ordered Big Macs and two large fries with Cokes She kicked her shoes off onto the She said, “Drive fast, turns me on” She put her hand my knee, I put my foot on the gas almost got whiplash, I took off so fast The sun roof was open , the music was And this girl’s hand was steadily moving my thigh She had opened up three buttons her shirt so far guess that’s why I didn’t notice that police car We’re doing ninety in my Mom’s Porsche And to this long story short - short When cop pulled me over I was scared as hell I said, don’t have a license but I drive very well, officer” I almost had a heart attack that to find out the girl was a twelve-year-old runaway I arrested, the car was impounded There was way for me to avoid being grounded My had to come off from vacation to get me rather be in jail than to have my father hit me My parents walked got my grip, I said, “Ah, Mom, Dad, how was your trip?” They didn’t speak - I said, “I to plead my case” But my father just shoved in the car by my face That was a hard ride home, I don’t know how survived They took turns - one would me while the other was driving I can’t believe it, I just made a Well parents are the same no time nor place So to you all the kids across the land Take it from me, just don’t understand