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 You know parents are the same no  time nor place
 They  understand that us kids are gonna make some mistakes
 So to you, all the kids  across the land
 There’s no need to argue, parents just don’t 
 
 I remember one 
 My mom took me  shopping
 It was me, my brother, my mom, oh, my pop, and  little sister
 All  in the car
  headed downtown to the Gallery Mall
  mom started bugging with the clothes she chose
 I  say nothing at first
  just turned up my nose
 She said, “What’s wrong? This  cost $20″
 I said,  this shirt is plaid with a butterfly collar!”
 The  half hour was the same old thing
 My mother  me clothes from 1963
 And then she  her mind and did the ultimate
 I  her for Adidas and she bought me Zips!
 I said, “Mom, what are  doing, you’re ruining my rep”
 She said, “You’re only sixteen, you don’t  a rep yet”
 I said, “Mom, let’s put these  back, please”
  said “no, you go to school to learn not for a fashion show”
 I said, “This isn’t Sha  Na, come on Mom, I’m not Bowzer
  please put back the bell-bottom Brady Bunch trousers
 But if you  want to I can live with that but
 You gotta put  the double-knit reversible slacks”
 She  moved - everything stayed the same
 Inevitably the first day of school 
  thought I could get over, I tried to play sick
 But  mom said, “No, no way, uh-uh, forget it”
 There was nothing I could  I tried to relax
  got dressed up in those ancient artifacts
 And when I walked into school, it was  as I thought
 The kids were cracking up laughing at  clothes Mom bought
 And those who weren’t  still had a ball
  they were pointing and whispering
 As I walked down  hall
 I got home and told  Mom how my day went
  said, “If they were laughing you don’t need them,
 Cause they’re not  friends”
 For the next six hours I  to explain to my Mom
 That  was gonna have to go through this about 200 more times
 So to you all  kids all across the land
 There’s no  to argue
 Parents just don’t 
 
  here’s the situation
 My parents went  on a week’s vacation and
 They left  keys to the brand new Porsche
 Would they mind?
 Umm, well, of  not
 I’ll  take it for a little spin
 And maybe  it off to a couple of friends
 I’ll just cruise  around the neighborhood
 Well,  I shouldn’t
 Yeah,  course I should
 Pay attention, here’s the  of the plot
 I pulled up to the corner at  end of my block
 That’s when  saw this beautiful girlie girl walking
 I  up my car phone to perpetrate like I was talking
  should’ve seen this girl’s bodily dimensions
 I honked my horn  to get her attention
  said, “Was that for me?”
 I said, “Yeah”
 She said, “Why?”
 I said, “Come on and take a  with a helluva guy”
  said, “How do I know you’re not sick?
 You  be some deranged lunatic”
 I said, “C’mon toots - my  is the Prince =
 Beside, would a lunatic have a Porsche  this?”
 She  and we were on our way
 She was  very good and so was I, I must say - word
 We hit  pulled into the drive
 We ordered  Big Macs and two large fries with Cokes
 She kicked her shoes off onto the 
 She said, “Drive fast,  turns me on”
 She put her hand  my knee, I put my foot on the gas
  almost got whiplash, I took off so fast
 The sun roof was open , the music was 
 And this girl’s hand was steadily moving  my thigh
 She had opened up three buttons  her shirt so far
  guess that’s why I didn’t notice that police car
 We’re doing ninety in my Mom’s  Porsche
 And to  this long story short - short
 When  cop pulled me over I was scared as hell
 I said,  don’t have a license but I drive very well, officer”
 I almost had a heart attack that 
  to find out the girl was a twelve-year-old runaway
 I  arrested, the car was impounded
 There was  way for me to avoid being grounded
 My  had to come off from vacation to get me
  rather be in jail than to have my father hit me
 My parents walked 
  got my grip, I said, “Ah, Mom, Dad, how was your trip?”
 They didn’t speak - I said, “I  to plead my case”
 But my father just shoved  in the car by my face
 That was a hard ride home, I don’t know how  survived
 They took turns - one would  me while the other was driving
 I can’t believe it, I just made a 
 Well parents are the same no  time nor place
 So to you all the kids  across the land
 Take it from me,  just don’t understand