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 "The  Slim Shady"
 
 [Eminem]
 May I have  attention please?
  I have your attention please?
  the real Slim Shady please stand up?
 I repeat, will  real Slim Shady please stand up?
  gonna have a problem here..
 
 Y'all act like you never seen a white person 
 Jaws all on the floor like  like Tommy just burst in the door
 and started whoopin her ass worse  before
 they first were divorce, throwin her over  (Ahh!)
 It's the return of the... "Ah, wait,  way, you're kidding,
 he didn't just say what I  he did, did he?"
 And Dr. Dre said...  you idiots!
 Dr. Dre's dead, he's locked in my  (Ha-ha!)
 Feminist women  Eminem
  turntable: chigga chigga chigga*]
  Shady, I'm sick of him
 Look at him,  around grabbin his you-know-what
 Flippin the you-know-who," "Yeah,  he's so cute though!"
 Yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my  loose
 But no worse, than  goin on in your parents' bedrooms
 Sometimes, I wanna get on TV and  let loose, but can't
 but it's cool  Tom Green to hump a dead moose
 "My bum  on your lips, my bum is on your lips"
 And if I'm lucky, you might just give it a  kiss
 And that's the  that we deliver to little kids
 And  them not to know what a woman's clitoris is
 Of course they gonna know what  is
 By the  they hit fourth grade
 They got the Discovery  don't they?
 "We ain't nothing  mammals.." Well, some of us cannibals
 who  other people open like cantaloupes [SLURP]
 But if we can hump dead animals and 
 then there's no  that a man and another man can't elope
 [*EWWW!*] But if you feel like I feel, I got the 
 Women wave your pantyhose, sing the  and it goes
 
 [Chorus:  (repeat 2X)]
 
 'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the  Shady
 All you other Slim  are just imitating
  won't the real Slim Shady please stand up,
 please stand up, please  up?
 
 [Eminem]
 Will Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell  records;
 well I do, so fuck him  fuck you too!
 You  I give a damn about a Grammy?
 Half of  critics can't even stomach me, let alone stand me
 "But Slim, what if you win, wouldn't it  weird?"
 Why? So  guys could just lie to get me here?
 So you can,  me here next to Britney Spears?
 Shit,  Aguilera better switch me chairs
 so I can sit next to Carson Daly and  Durst
 and hear 'em argue over who  gave head to first
 You little bitch, put me  blast on MTV
 "Yeah, he's cute, but I think he's married  Kim, hee-hee!"
 I should download her audio  MP3
 and show the whole world  you gave Eminem VD [AHHH!]
 I'm sick of you little girl and boy groups, all you do is  me
  I have been sent here to destroy you [bzzzt]
  there's a million of us just like me
  cuss like me; who just don't give a fuck like me
 who dress like me; walk,  and act like me
 and just might be the next best thing but not  me!
 
 [Chorus]
 
 [Eminem]
 I'm like a head  to listen to, cause I'm only givin you
 things  joke about with your friends inside your living room
 The only difference is I got the balls to say 
 in front of y'all and I don't gotta be  or sugarcoated at all
 I just get on the mic and spit 
 and whether you like to admit it [*ERR*] I  shit it
  than ninety percent of you rappers out can
  you wonder how can kids eat up these albums like valiums
 It's  cause at the rate I'm goin when I'm thirty
 I'll be the only person  the nursin home flirting
 Pinchin nurses asses when I'm jackin off with 
 And I'm jerkin but this  bag of Viagra isn't working
 And  single person is a Slim Shady lurkin
 He could be workin at  King, spittin on your onion rings
 [*HACH*] Or in the parkin  circling
  "I don't give a fuck!"
 with his windows  and his system up
 So, will the real Shady  stand up?
 And put  of those fingers on each hand up?
 And be proud to be outta  mind and outta control
  one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?
 
 [Chorus 4X]
 
 [Eminem]
 Ha ha
 Guess there's a Slim Shady in all of 
 Fuck  let's all stand up