"The Slim Shady" [Eminem] May I have attention please? I have your attention please? the real Slim Shady please stand up? I repeat, will real Slim Shady please stand up? gonna have a problem here.. Y'all act like you never seen a white person Jaws all on the floor like like Tommy just burst in the door and started whoopin her ass worse before they first were divorce, throwin her over (Ahh!) It's the return of the... "Ah, wait, way, you're kidding, he didn't just say what I he did, did he?" And Dr. Dre said... you idiots! Dr. Dre's dead, he's locked in my (Ha-ha!) Feminist women Eminem turntable: chigga chigga chigga*] Shady, I'm sick of him Look at him, around grabbin his you-know-what Flippin the you-know-who," "Yeah, he's so cute though!" Yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my loose But no worse, than goin on in your parents' bedrooms Sometimes, I wanna get on TV and let loose, but can't but it's cool Tom Green to hump a dead moose "My bum on your lips, my bum is on your lips" And if I'm lucky, you might just give it a kiss And that's the that we deliver to little kids And them not to know what a woman's clitoris is Of course they gonna know what is By the they hit fourth grade They got the Discovery don't they? "We ain't nothing mammals.." Well, some of us cannibals who other people open like cantaloupes [SLURP] But if we can hump dead animals and then there's no that a man and another man can't elope [*EWWW!*] But if you feel like I feel, I got the Women wave your pantyhose, sing the and it goes [Chorus: (repeat 2X)] 'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the Shady All you other Slim are just imitating won't the real Slim Shady please stand up, please stand up, please up? [Eminem] Will Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell records; well I do, so fuck him fuck you too! You I give a damn about a Grammy? Half of critics can't even stomach me, let alone stand me "But Slim, what if you win, wouldn't it weird?" Why? So guys could just lie to get me here? So you can, me here next to Britney Spears? Shit, Aguilera better switch me chairs so I can sit next to Carson Daly and Durst and hear 'em argue over who gave head to first You little bitch, put me blast on MTV "Yeah, he's cute, but I think he's married Kim, hee-hee!" I should download her audio MP3 and show the whole world you gave Eminem VD [AHHH!] I'm sick of you little girl and boy groups, all you do is me I have been sent here to destroy you [bzzzt] there's a million of us just like me cuss like me; who just don't give a fuck like me who dress like me; walk, and act like me and just might be the next best thing but not me! [Chorus] [Eminem] I'm like a head to listen to, cause I'm only givin you things joke about with your friends inside your living room The only difference is I got the balls to say in front of y'all and I don't gotta be or sugarcoated at all I just get on the mic and spit and whether you like to admit it [*ERR*] I shit it than ninety percent of you rappers out can you wonder how can kids eat up these albums like valiums It's cause at the rate I'm goin when I'm thirty I'll be the only person the nursin home flirting Pinchin nurses asses when I'm jackin off with And I'm jerkin but this bag of Viagra isn't working And single person is a Slim Shady lurkin He could be workin at King, spittin on your onion rings [*HACH*] Or in the parkin circling "I don't give a fuck!" with his windows and his system up So, will the real Shady stand up? And put of those fingers on each hand up? And be proud to be outta mind and outta control one more time, loud as you can, how does it go? [Chorus 4X] [Eminem] Ha ha Guess there's a Slim Shady in all of Fuck let's all stand up