"The Real Slim [Eminem] May I have attention please? May I have your attention Will the real Slim please stand up? I repeat, will the real Slim Shady please up? We're have a problem here.. Y'all act like you never seen a white before Jaws all on floor like Pam, like Tommy just burst in the door and whoopin her ass worse than before they first were divorce, throwin her furniture (Ahh!) It's the return of the... wait, no way, you're kidding, he didn't just what I think he did, did he?" And Dr. Dre said... nothing you Dr. Dre's dead, he's locked in my (Ha-ha!) Feminist women love [*vocal turntable: chigga chigga "Slim Shady, I'm sick of at him, walkin around grabbin his you-know-what Flippin you-know-who," "Yeah, but he's so cute though!" I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose But no worse, than goin on in your parents' bedrooms Sometimes, I wanna get on TV just let loose, but can't but it's cool for Green to hump a dead moose "My bum is on your lips, bum is on your lips" And if I'm lucky, you might just give it a kiss And that's the message that deliver to little kids And them not to know what a woman's clitoris is course they gonna know what intercourse is By the time they hit fourth They got the Channel don't they? "We ain't nothing but mammals.." Well, some of us who cut other people open like [SLURP] But if we hump dead animals and antelopes then no reason that a man and another man can't elope [*EWWW!*] But you feel like I feel, I got the antidote Women wave your pantyhose, sing chorus and it goes [Chorus: (repeat 2X)] 'Cause I'm Shady, yes I'm the real Shady All you other Slim Shadys are imitating So won't the real Shady please stand up, please stand up, please up? [Eminem] Will Smith don't gotta in his raps to sell his records; well I do, so fuck him fuck you too! You think I a damn about a Grammy? Half of you critics can't even me, let alone stand me "But Slim, if you win, wouldn't it be weird?" Why? So you guys could lie to get me here? So you can, sit me here next to Britney Shit, Aguilera better switch me chairs so I can sit to Carson Daly and Fred Durst and hear 'em argue over who gave head to first little bitch, put me on blast on MTV "Yeah, cute, but I think he's married to Kim, hee-hee!" I download her audio on MP3 and show the whole how you gave Eminem VD [AHHH!] I'm sick of little girl and boy groups, all you do is annoy me so I have been sent here destroy you [bzzzt] And there's million of us just like me who cuss like me; who just don't give fuck like me who dress like me; walk, and act like me and just might the next best thing but not quite me! [Chorus] [Eminem] I'm like a head trip to to, cause I'm only givin you things you about with your friends inside your living room The only difference I got the balls to say it in front of and I don't gotta be false or sugarcoated at all I just get on the and spit it and you like to admit it [*ERR*] I just shit it better than percent of you rappers out can Then you wonder how can kids eat up these albums valiums It's funny; cause at the rate I'm goin when I'm I'll the only person in the nursin home flirting Pinchin nurses when I'm jackin off with Jergens And jerkin but this whole bag of Viagra isn't working And every single person is a Slim Shady He could workin at Burger King, spittin on your onion rings [*HACH*] Or in the parkin circling "I don't give a fuck!" with his down and his system up So, will the real Shady please up? And put one of those fingers on hand up? be proud to be outta your mind and outta control and one more time, loud as you can, does it go? [Chorus 4X] [Eminem] Ha ha Guess there's a Slim in all of us Fuck it, let's all up