"The Real Slim [Eminem] May I have your attention May I your attention please? Will the real Shady please stand up? repeat, will the real Slim Shady please stand up? We're gonna have a here.. act like you never seen a white person before Jaws all on floor like Pam, like Tommy just burst in the door started whoopin her ass worse than before they first divorce, throwin her over furniture (Ahh!) It's the return the... "Ah, wait, no way, you're kidding, he didn't just say what I think he did he?" And Dre said... nothing you idiots! Dr. Dre's dead, locked in my basement! (Ha-ha!) Feminist love Eminem [*vocal turntable: chigga chigga "Slim I'm sick of him Look at him, walkin around his you-know-what Flippin the you-know-who," but he's so cute though!" Yeah, I probably got a couple of screws in my head loose But no worse, than what's goin on in your parents' Sometimes, I wanna get on TV and just loose, but can't but it's cool Tom Green to hump a dead moose bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lips" And if I'm lucky, you might just give a little kiss that's the message that we deliver to little kids And expect them not to know a woman's clitoris is course they gonna know what intercourse is By the time they hit grade They got the Discovery don't they? "We ain't nothing but mammals.." Well, some of us who cut other people open cantaloupes [SLURP] But if we can hump animals and antelopes then there's no reason that a man another man can't elope [*EWWW!*] But if you like I feel, I got the antidote Women wave your pantyhose, sing the chorus it goes Eminem (repeat 2X)] 'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm real Shady All you other Slim Shadys just imitating So won't the real Slim Shady please up, please stand up, please stand [Eminem] Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell his records; I do, so fuck him and fuck you too! You I give a damn about a Grammy? Half of you critics can't even stomach let alone stand me Slim, what if you win, wouldn't it be weird?" Why? So you guys could just lie get me here? So you can, me here next to Britney Spears? Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs so I can sit next to Carson Daly Fred Durst and hear 'em argue over who she head to first You little bitch, put me on blast on "Yeah, he's cute, but I he's married to Kim, hee-hee!" I should download audio on MP3 and show the whole world how you Eminem VD [AHHH!] I'm sick of you little girl boy groups, all you do is annoy me so I have been sent here to destroy [bzzzt] And there's a of us just like me who cuss like me; who just give a fuck like me who dress like me; walk, talk act like me and just might be the best thing but not quite me! [Chorus] [Eminem] I'm like a head trip listen to, cause I'm only givin you you joke about with your friends inside your living room The only difference is I got the to say it in front of y'all and don't gotta be false or sugarcoated at all I just on the mic and spit it and whether you like to admit it I just shit it than ninety percent of you rappers out can Then you wonder how kids eat up these albums like valiums It's funny; cause at the rate goin when I'm thirty I'll be the only person in the nursin home Pinchin nurses asses when I'm jackin off with And I'm jerkin but this whole of Viagra isn't working And every single person a Slim Shady lurkin He could be workin at Burger spittin on your onion rings [*HACH*] Or in parkin lot, circling "I don't give a fuck!" with windows down and his system up So, will the real Shady please up? And put of those fingers on each hand up? be proud to be outta your mind and outta control and one more time, loud as you can, how does go? [Chorus 4X] [Eminem] Ha ha there's a Slim Shady in all of us Fuck it, all stand up